The Light Unleashed Read online

  I bite my lower lip. My voice sounds choked. “When do you leave?”

  “Tomorrow.”

  “Will you at least come back for the wedding?”

  His eyes narrow. “Yours?”

  “No,” I start to shake my head, then nod. “Well, yes, that too. But will you come back for Kennis’s wedding? Please? Just so I don’t have to say goodbye yet?”

  He smiles. “If the queen orders my presence, then even my commanding officer must allow it.”

  I try to force my own smile, but I can tell by his face I don’t succeed. “Then . . . I’ll see you soon.” I spy Tamra behind us. “I’m going to my room. Stop by the library and tell Simon I won’t be down until later.”

  I turn away before she answers, hurrying through the hall and up the stairs to my quarters, hoping to find them empty.

  No such luck.

  Kennis, Geran and Kyran rise from their seats as I enter.

  My mother frowns. “What’s happened?”

  “This stupid war is becoming real to me.” My breath stutters as I inhale. “I’ll be okay.”

  She opens her arms and I gratefully accept her hug. I long for the days when my hardest decision was what to wear for school or what we should have for dinner.

  Geran coughs softly. “Kyran will be leaving with Quinn this morning. We thought, perhaps, you would want to say goodbye.”

  I feel bad that I don’t dread Kyran’s leaving as much as Noam’s, until I realize it’s because Kyran has always known how to take care of himself. Noam is such a sensitive soul. A scholar, a student, meanwhile Kyran has been forced to defend himself all his life.

  I become conscious of Kyran’s awkward silence as I stare at him. Are you listening to my thoughts?

  He nods.

  I step away from my mother. I will miss you as well.

  “I’m glad, Your Majesty.”

  Growling, I stalk toward him. “Why do you call me that? When I’ve asked you not to?”

  Kyran smiles mischievously. “Because I prefer to see this spark in you, than sadness.” He reaches out to take my hand. “What have you done?”

  “I hit a wall.”

  My mother goes into nurse mode and sends Reesa for her medical bag. Kyran leads me to the couch to sit. He doesn’t let go of my hand as he lowers himself by my side. Geran and Kennis stand over us.

  The cut isn’t deep. The blood is already drying in my palm. “It’s nothing, really.”

  “You still need some antibiotic.” Kennis takes my hand from Kyran so she can peruse the wound. “Who knows what kind of bacteria breed on these stones.”

  Kyran raises an eyebrow. “What’s that?”

  I lean toward him. “Think of them as tiny, invisible creatures that like to make you sick.”

  “Some kind of magic?”

  “No.” I pull my hand from Kennis’s and lay it on my lap. “It’s not magic. It happens naturally. You just don’t have the science to know about it yet.”

  Kyran gently takes my hand in his again. “And you do in your world?”

  His thumb caresses my wrist in small circles. The sting of my wound subsides as my whole arm starts to tingle. Is this some kind of magic of his own?

  He grins.

  You’re reading my mind again, aren’t you?

  Aye.

  I try to free myself but his fingers close around my wrist, trapping it. I glare up at him. “I thought you said we shouldn’t steal each other’s thoughts.”

  “It’s not stealing when they beat like a drum in my head.” Now relax, and let me help take the pain away.

  “Where did you learn to do this?”

  “It’s a gift I have always had. To soothe people. Horses as well.”

  “I’m not sure I like being compared to a horse.”

  My hand shakes as he chuckles. “No one would compare you to a horse, except in your beauty and gracefulness.”

  “Right. I’m so graceful I cut myself on stone walls.” His gentle massage is relaxing more than my arm. His touch warms my whole body. When Reesa returns with my mother’s bag, I notice Kennis and Geran have crossed away from the couch, to give Kyran and me privacy.

  My mother washes the cut, spreads some antibacterial goop on it, and wraps it in gauze. “Keep the bandage on it today. We’ll put more cream on it tonight before bed.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  She moves away to repack her medical bag, leaving Kyran and me alone again on the couch.

  Kyran glances over to where Geran is standing by the fireplace, then back to me. “I should be going soon.”

  “You’ll come back for Kennis’s wedding, right?”

  Kennis answers for him. “Of course he will.”

  Will you?

  Aye. I look forward to dancing with you.

  I groan.

  Kyran’s smile drops.

  “It’s not you.” I assure him. “It’s just that I’m a horrible dancer.”

  “Then you must practice, because I am quite good.”

  “Are you really?”

  He sweeps his arm out to the side as if he is going to start dancing right there. Instead, he gives me a small bow. “You will be amazed at my ability.”

  Neither of us speak for several long seconds. He’s blocked his thoughts from me and I’m aware of how strange it feels to be so close to the man I’ve pledged to marry while my parents chaperone. I finally break the silence. “Be careful out there.”

  “I will.”

  I shiver under the intensity of his gaze. The tension between us builds until I think some kind of static charge will be released but then, he raises my hand to his lips and kisses my fingertips. “Goodbye, Alystrine.”

  I can barely catch my breath to whisper, “Goodbye.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  A Mystic’s Ballad

  My days as queen are filled with obligations I never dreamed of in my past life. Mornings are spent in briefings, learning about battle plans and signing parchments to pay for weapons and horses. In the afternoons, I sit with Uncle Devnet and Simon for my Latin and history lessons. I like my uncle better when my father isn’t around. He’s calmer, but also funnier. It’s as if Geran’s presence forces him to act older, while with me, he’s just a kind uncle. In the few hours I can spare, I discuss my mother’s wedding plans and coordinate the meals that will be served over the three day event. Edward, the court’s dance instructor, also arrives to help me improve my technique. It’s an impossible task, but he rarely loses his temper with me.

  It’s only in the evenings, when I’m trying to go to sleep, that my mind is free to think about Tegan, Noam, and Kyran. I wonder what each man is doing. I picture Kyran journeying from town to town, delivering the pronouncement of the coming war and the command that all eligible men should gather on the Plains of Sharne within a month’s time. I see Noam, training with the other Elders. Learning how to shoot a bow and arrow. Fighting with a sword. Learning how to kill. Finally, I imagine Tegan, still locked in a dungeon, his mother and little brother at his side.

  I wish I could Spirit Travel to each of them to see how they’re doing, but it’s against the law for me to be with Tegan or Noam, and I dread who I might find Kyran spending his time with while he’s away from me. The laws of betrothal don’t seem to be as strict for men and Kyran’s never been one to sleep alone. In my other life, back in Connecticut, I never prayed before going to bed, but I start now. I think about each man and ask Ruahk to protect him from harm, to keep him well, and to allow me to see him again.

  With a little over a week to go before the wedding, we get another snowstorm, although not as bad as the previous one. I’m hoping it doesn’t keep people from coming to the celebration.

  I shouldn’t have worried.

  In this world without television, radios, or telephones, this three day festival will be the only thing to talk about throughout the rest of the winter, besides the coming war. Wagons and carriages filled with lords, ladies, and their families start arrivi
ng at Uz after the storm. I’m being introduced daily to girls my own age. It takes some time for us to feel comfortable with each other, but we soon find ourselves giggling about the young lords and commenting on the fashion choices of some of the older women.

  Lady Moira, a plump brunette, and Lady Bronwyn, a tall blonde, both fifteen, are my favorites. They’re not too flirtatious or flighty, and Bronwyn, has a wicked sense of humor. After another afternoon of Latin and dance lessons, I find the two girls perched by the window in my favorite sitting room, spying on several young men who are sparring in the muddy courtyard below. They both rise and curtsy as I come in. Moira, in particular, seems embarrassed that I caught them.

  I try to put her at ease. “Anyone new come today?”

  They scoot apart so I can sit in between them on the window seat. Bronwyn points toward the right. “Moira has her eyes on that one. Lord Malcolm of Risefell.”

  The young man isn’t the tallest or handsomest of the group, but he does have a pleasant face. “I remember him. He was one of the men my father thought might make me a good husband.” I nudge Moira’s shoulder. “If Geran approves of him, I bet he’s a great catch.”

  Moira’s round cheeks turn red. “I think he has the most beautiful eyes. So blue. Like the autumn sky.”

  I can’t help but chuckle at her infatuation. “How can you see his eyes from here?”

  “I . . . I bumped into him in the hall when he and his family first arrived.”

  Bronwyn’s laugh is musical, like a bird. “She spied him from this window and ran down to the hall so she could happen to be there when they came in.”

  For a moment, she sounds like my friend Renee. I remember sitting in my high school’s cafeteria gushing about how David Peters was “so cute.” The memory squeezes my heart and I find myself longing for my old life.

  “Are you well, Your Majesty?”

  I blink. Bronwyn stares at me with concern. “I’m fine. Got lost in the past for a moment.” I try to smile. “How about you? Have you picked someone out yet?”

  The pretty blonde sighs as her gaze strays back out to the courtyard below. “My father is hoping to have me betrothed by the end of the festival.”

  An air of melancholy settles over the room. I sense that Moira knows more than she’s saying about her friend’s mood. Her eyes well up with tears as she glances toward Bronwyn.

  “Have you met the man your father wants you to marry?” I ask.

  The blonde girl shakes her head.

  “But you know who he is?”

  Bronwyn swallows, but says nothing.

  “It’s that old man,” Moira practically bursts as she lets out the news. “Lord Cedric.”

  My heart drops. I know how Bronwyn feels. No matter how brave and kind Lord Cedric is, no one wants to be married to a man who could be their grandfather. I know that my sympathy will do little to help my friend, so I try to be cheerful. “Geran thought he would have been the best choice for my husband, as well. From the little I know about him, he seems like a very noble man.”

  Bronwyn continues to watch the young men fencing in the courtyard. “What changed your father’s mind?”

  “I don’t think anything did change his mind, it’s just that I’d already screwed things up.”

  Both girls turn their focus to me, but it’s Moira who asks, “How?”

  A part of me longs to tell them everything. All about Tegan and Braedon and the contract I was forced to sign in order to save Tegan’s life. “It’s a long story.”

  Their eyes are wide, waiting for more details.

  I walk away from the window. “Let’s just say Kyran seems to have been Ruahk’s choice for my husband, not my father’s.”

  “What’s he like?” Moira ducks her head shyly. “Kyran?”

  I flop down into an armchair, tired of acting like a queen. I wish I could talk to a friend about everything going on. But can I trust these girls? “I don’t really know him.”

  Bronwyn stands up and paces. “I hate that we have no say in our futures. We must do whatever our fathers choose for us.” She whirls around to face me. “Is it like this? In the Other World?”

  “No.” I sink further into the chair. “People choose who they’re going to marry and when, all on their own.”

  Moira sits up. “Were you betrothed to someone else there?”

  I shake my head. “Marriage was the furthest thing from my mind. I just wanted to finish school and—”

  “School?” Bronwyn stops pacing. “What manner of learning were you privileged to have?”

  “I could learn anything I wanted. Everyone was taught to read. We had libraries and computers anyone could use.” I sigh. I miss how easy it was been to lose myself for hours surfing the Web and messaging my friends.

  “Com . . . pew . . . ter?” Moira asked from the window seat. “What is that?”

  “I wish I could explain it to you, but I don’t think—”

  A knock interrupts me. I peer over the top of the chair as the door swings open, and let out a squeal when I see Noam standing in the threshold. I’m running to him before he even rises from his bow.

  “You’re back!” I know it’s against protocol, but I give him a hug anyway. He stiffens at my touch. Moira and Bronwyn let out soft gasps. I force myself to break the embrace before I really want to and step away. “I’m sorry. We were just talking about the Other World. We always gave hugs to a friend we hadn’t seen in a long time.” I take him by the arm and lead him into the room. “I want you to meet my friends. Noam, this is Lady Moira and Lady Bronwyn. Ladies, this is Noam, an Elder and one of the first friends I made in Uz.”

  I can see Noam is warmed by my kind words. He nods his head toward them. “I’m pleased to make your acquaintance.”

  Both Moira and Bronwyn offer him a low curtsy, while their eyes size him up.

  I want to hug him again, but know I can’t. It’s just such a relief to have someone in the castle I can talk with freely. “When did you get here?”

  “This afternoon. Your father brought me through the passage.”

  “Geran?”

  Noam glances nervously at the other girls before he nods.

  “He didn’t tell me.” I remember now that my father wasn’t at dinner the night before, but I had figured he was meeting with some of the lords that had arrived. My spirit warms at the thought that Geran would risk traveling through the passages to make sure Noam arrived in time for Kennis’ wedding.

  Lady Moira asks Noam about his life as an Elder, and for the next half hour he regales us all with his training in the army. He is a natural storyteller, and soon has us laughing and gasping at his various trials. By the time Tamra informs me I must prepare for tonight’s dinner, Noam has charmed both Moira and Bronwyn.

  “Will you walk with me for a moment?” I ask him.

  He stands. “Of course, Your Majesty.” He gives a short bow to the ladies. “It was a pleasure to meet you both.”

  The girls rise and curtsy as we leave.

  Once we’re in the hall, with Tamra several steps ahead, I whisper, “How are you, really?”

  “I am fine.” His face is harder than before. His eyes a bit more steely. “Training is difficult, but invigorating.”

  My mind reaches out to his. Random pictures flash through my thoughts, as if in a slide show. Noam in the mud. Aiming bow and arrow for the first time. “How long can you stay?”

  “I travel back with the other Elders in four days’ time.”

  “Through the passages again?”

  “No. We will travel on the river, it hasn’t frozen yet.”

  “What do you think?” I stop at the bottom of the staircase that leads to my rooms. “About our chances?”

  “We are strong. Our numbers are as great as in the first war, centuries ago.” He rolls his shoulders back, as if standing at attention. “We will be ready.”

  His body language exudes confidence, but his doubt seeps into my mind like fog over a lake. It settle
s over my heart, filling me with its gray cloud of worry. I fake a smile I don’t feel. “I really am glad you’re back. I’ll see you at dinner.”

  Before my façade falters, I run up the stairs to my rooms.

  I dress in a gown in the Elder style for dinner. The empire waist fits snugly under my breasts but the skirt has enough pleats so I can still breathe. Its deep green color complements my copper hair, which Tamra has intricately braided. I even wear my crown, because this dinner officially begins the three day celebration of Kennis’s wedding.

  “Do you know if Kyran’s arrived yet?” I ask Tamra as she brushes a piece of lint off my velvet sleeve.

  “I haven’t heard.”

  My stomach ties itself in a knot as I cross to the fireplace to warm my hands. Kyran?

  There’s no answer.

  “I thought he’d be back by now.”

  “I’m sure he’s fine, Your Majesty.” Tamra has come up beside me. “Only delayed because of the snow.”

  “You’re probably right.” I wish for the hundredth time the Council would let me find a passage to him. I wonder whether it would be as easy as finding the connection between me and Tegan. Of course, maybe the reason he’s delayed isn’t the snow. Maybe he’s busy with Julia. Or Fenella. Or some new woman who promised to keep him warm during the storm.

  I shake the thoughts from my head as I make my way to the throne room. It’s the only room large enough to accommodate all of the nobles and their families. A wave of muffled conversation greets me as I walk toward the guarded doors. It’s my first formal public appearance as Queen since my coronation. I pray I don’t trip.

  The guard announces my arrival. Several hundred lords and their families rise to their feet from the myriad of tables lining the room. A fairly wide aisle has been left between them. It leads up to the dais where my family are seated at a long table covered in gold cloth. It sparkles in the light of the many torches set along the walls.

  I whisper my gratitude as I manage to climb up the steps and around the table to my chair without falling. A servant fills a shining jeweled goblet with wine and hands it to me. I lift it up toward the crowd. “Welcome, Lords. Ladies. Elders. Friends.” My palms are sweating. What was it they tell you about public speaking? Imagine your audience in their underwear? I look out over those gathered and sigh. Ugh. The men probably aren’t wearing any and the women have too many layers.